


How to Pick Up Girls, According to Mario

by Weegi (orphan_account)



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Gen, Memes, OOC, Swearing, Where the filthy frank fans at, non-canon, shitposting, this was a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 06:11:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12764799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Weegi
Summary: Mario teaches Luigi effortless ways to pick up girls.Based on that one Filthy Frank video. You know the one.





	How to Pick Up Girls, According to Mario

“Alright! I’m gonna show you how to pick up women!”

The younger brother wondered how the hell did he get into this.

“Now, you could say something subtle and nice, like ‘what’s your name’, ‘I think you're pretty’, but that shit doesn’t work.”

Luigi just sighed and shrugged. Asking Mario for dating advice was probably not the best idea, but desperate times call for desperate measures.  
“So how does it work?” Luigi sighed sarcastically.

“In reality, women want you to be direct.” Mario rambled. “Today I’m gonna teach you the ultimate pick-up line every woman wants to hear!”

Ultimate pick-up line, huh? Luigi perked up a little bit at that, but more or less he was just humoring his big brother’s nonsensical rambling and wasn’t actually paying attention.

“So, what is this ultimate pick-up line?” he asked, expecting something stupid.

Mario took a deep breath, and in one single breath he gave the holy grail of pick-up lines.

“I eat ass.”

This took the younger brother by surprise! “I eat WHAT now?!” He sputtered in shock.

“Women love hearing that!” Mario reassured. “It works every fucking time!”

“Uhh…”

“Anyway, the direct translation for ‘I eat ass’ in Italian is..” At this Mario pulled out a sheet of loose-leaf paper, with...something scrawled onto it.

“‘Io mangio il culo.’ Say it with me now. Io mangio il culo.”

“Um, a-alright… I-Io...Io mangio..” Luigi’s face was redder than a tomato as he struggled to spit out the phrase. “Io m-mangio..i-il culo.”

“Louder.”

“I-Io mangio il culo.”

“Put some emotion into it!”

“Io mangio il culo!”

“Alright, now the direct translation.”

“I eat ass!”


End file.
